Art

     Lately I've been missing my creative, artistic side. In the past two days I started following so many different art pages on instagram. I miss that part of my life that allowed me to get creative. When I hold a pen in my hand and stare at a blank piece of paper, nothing comes to mind. I think thats one thing that I would like to change in 2016. I'd like to start drawing and painting again. Itll be a great way for me to relieve stress and just unwind. I figured if I would take at least 15 minutes out of my day to draw and practice, that my skills will improve. If you think about it, its just like anything else. If I took 15-30 minutes out of my day to work out my body will change and improve. I'm really looking forward to 2016, I think its going to be a great year for me. :)

Short and sweet haha, Thank you so much for reading. Have a blessed day/night!

-Laura

UPDATE: It's 8:30 am  the day after this original blog post. I have something on my mind that I just need to get out there. I spoke with my mom this morning and it really got me thinking about how so many women lose themselves after having kids. We give up on the things that make us who we are. For example, I gave up art. I actually stopped drawing and painting after I got married.  I don't know why I did because my husband is very supportive of everything that I do. I've come to the realization that I don't want to be one of those women who lose who they are. When I do these things its to make myself happy and that's all that really matters.
    Its kind of the Romanian norm for girls to get married at a young age. Sometimes we don't even have the chance to find out who we really are before we are thrown into something as big as marriage. Of course these girls had the choice of getting married or not, I'm not saying that its arranged or anything. I'm just saying that sometimes marriage is more of a way out of the parents house and into a life where we are free. But, in doing that, girls are putting themselves in a situation where its very possible to lose themselves. I think that its very rare to find a husband that allows you to grow and that will grow with you. I'm very lucky in that aspect. I'm not saying that all girls who get married young end up losing themselves, I just see that in the older generations of women. There is a lot of emphasis on how to take care of the house and how to be a good house wife but there isnt really anyone out there encouraging them to still do the things that make them happy. Yes, to have a clean house and food on the table is good, but we also need to do the things that make us who we are, if we dont continue to do these things it is likely that we will end up, bitter and unsatisfied with our life, which in turn will lead to us being unhappy in all aspects.

   I guess what I'm trying to say is if you look to the future and your kids are out of the house, what do you have to look forward to? What will you do for yourself? What will your hobbies be? What makes you happy? What will fill your time with joy? Just something to think about.

Thanks again for reading :)

Current Thoughts

     I woke up this morning feeling happy, overwhelmed and even sick to my stomach. Happy, because I actually went to church yesterday. I haven't been in quite a while because I couldn't find anything to wear and I had gained so much weight that nothing had fit me any more. Priorities have changed. I cannot let my spiritual life be put on the back burner because of something materialistic like not having something to wear. The things I have in my closet I can make work. In my mind I needed something new, something better. Which I now know is not the mindset that I should have. I listened to the sermon and it just reminded me of how blessed I am to have what I do have. We live in a world where we always want more. If we just took the time to realize what we do have, we will see how blessed we truly are. To have a roof over our heads, money in the bank, food in the fridge, clothes to wear and water to drink we are so much more blessed than some people in this world. The list can go on forever but its the small things that we take for granted that truly make us the richest people in this world.
     I was feeling overwhelmed because there is so much to do around the house that I feel like the hours in the day are not enough for me to do everything. I have a daughter that needs constant attention and a husband that I love to cook for and have come home to a clean house. But I finally realized that the house being a mess is just proof that its being lived in. We are living comfortably and I cannot be more thankful for the hard work my husband puts in for us to have the life that we have. God has truly blessed me with a hardworking man. Remember to let your loved ones know how appreciated they are.
   Finally, I woke up sick to my stomach because I had WAYYY to many doughnuts yesterday. Its become a tradition it seems like in this family to get a box of doughnuts after church on Sunday. We watched the football game (Go Panthers) and just had an awesome time chilling on the couch. Sunday is the only day we get to have where we can really relax and re-energize for the following week. We get to spend much needed quality time together and just be in each others presence. I always look forward to Sunday. As far as working out, I haven't been.  I've been enjoying this time with my family but I cannot wait to start working out again. I cannot thank the BBG community and my friend Michelle enough for keeping me motivated, you all have truly been a blessing :)

Thank you so much for reading, until next time have a blessed day/night!

-Laura

Emotional Eating & New Workout routine.

      One thing that I have struggled with the most is emotional eating. I can be doing so well, and if something or someone gets under my skin all things go back to the way they were. I have to learn how to control that part of my mind that tells me that I need to eat when I'm upset. I also need to control what I let affect me. Opinions of others and their idea of me shouldn't matter.  I haven't done any workouts for the past 3 weeks! Its so crazy for me to say that because it doesn't seem like its been that long.
      I cant wait to start working out again. I need to figure out meal plans and I need to set a schedule so I can reach my goal.  I'm giving BBG a little break right now, and I've decided that I want to try jump roping for the next month. I also want to save for a Capsule wardrobe. I don't really have much of a wardrobe, which limits me tremendously when a special event comes around or when it comes time to go to church on Sunday.
     My weight has hindered me completely in that aspect of my life. Church and fellowship are important to me. When I started to gain weight nothing would fit and I was left with nothing to wear on Sundays.I would panic and get anxiety, I would also criticize myself all over again and pick at everything that was wrong with me. I know it shouldn't matter what I wear but I literally had NOTHING, the only item of clothing that would fit me were sweat pants. I'm in the phase now where I don't really want to spend money on clothes I know wont fit me three or four months down the road, but I still have all my old raggedy clothing.  I'm making it work, but I cannot wait to get to my goal weight. Writing this is making me excited all over again. I just have to get up and do it. The only person holding me back is myself.

Things to look forward to:
1.  Starting a new workout routine.
2. Setting up a meal plan.
3. Saving for a Capsule wardrobe.

Thank you so much for reading! Have a Blessed day/night!

-Laura

What a Week.

    Its so nice to sit here at my kitchen table and actually get to write, its' so quiet and peaceful today. Finn is a sleep and I actually get the chance to write down how my week has been. My house has been disorganized for the majority of the week, clothes have been piling up, as well as the dishes. I've been in that mood where I don't want to do anything around the house, and I find that I have more anxiety when things aren't done. I don't know why I do that to myself. Yesterday was my birthday and it was spent taking care of my baby girl. She had a really high fever but she is getting better. THANK GOD! I felt so helpless watching her go through all that, the only thing I could do was try and comfort her. Thank you to all of those that prayed for her to get better, shes becoming herself again and I cannot wait for her full recovery! :)
     To be a parent you really have to be selfless. But it is also important to make some time for yourself. This week I haven't been able to really workout or get back in the swing of things. My back still aches and with Finn getting sick there hasn't really been time for me to get a good workout in. I only walked on the treadmill once this week. But I don't feel at all like i'm back tracking. This is life. Things will happen to make it difficult to reach your goal. Well, I guess I shouldn't say difficult. Things will get in the way but what you do with the time that you get is really important.  When I let the house become a mess, the time that I could spend on myself gets spent on making sure the house gets cleaned. Going forward I need to make it a priority to leave the house straightened up so I can get that time in that I need for myself.  Even writing this, I have four loads of laundry to do, dishes that need to be put away, bathrooms that need to be cleaned and floors that need to be washed. All of that will get done in time.
    Also, just to update you on the  picture I posted on Instagram letting you guys know that I got some new skincare products. I wont be able to get that post up this week, but look out for it in the near future. I want to try out the products for a longer period of time before I come on here and let you all know what I think. I'm also thinking that I may start posting on my YouTube channel again. Let me know what you guys think of that! Well I think thats all for today. Thank you guys so much for reading :)

Have a blessed Day/Night!
-Laura

For the first time in a really long time...

     For the first time in a really long time, I woke up feeling good. My skin feels good, my hair feels good and my BODY feels good. Is that weird to say after Thanksgiving? Most people feel sluggish around this time of year, but I've noticed a pattern with me. I tend to workout the most during the holidays and let myself slip during the summer. Does that make sense to any one?! haha. You would think it would be the other way around. Anyways, I'm so extremely happy at the way my body feels right now. I feel more confident. I haven't been able to workout due to my back, but I still feel good. I guess I really did need to get out of the house for a little bit.
    This thanksgiving my husband, daughter and I got to visit my sister and her family for about four days. It was such a great time to relax and just get away from the home.  Yes I did drink soda. Yes, I did eat burgers and fries with ranch. But you know what? Thats okay. Its okay to have some type of balance. I wont be buying any soda to have here at home, so I know that the temptation is not here. I will continue going forward just drinking water and making healthier choices. But its okay to indulge a little bit every once and a while. I've learned that its okay to have that balance. If I were to go hardcore, I know in the end that I wont achieve my goal. Its a process and a journey and I wont get to where I want to be over night. I'm okay with this taking a while. The old me would have wanted abs in three days and to be a size 6 in a month. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I'm thankful that I'm finally realizing that this is a journey and that I'm not going to let time be my enemy.
   There are so many other things that I am thankful for. God has truly blessed us this year. I cannot wait to see what he has in store for my family next year. :) Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all had a good one as well :)

Thanks for reading! Until next time, have a blessed day/night!
-Laura