Frustrations & Fitness update & Discouraging Voices.

     Its too early in the morning to be frustrated. With frustration comes anxiety, and normally when I'm anxious I eat.  So far I'm doing pretty good at not eating my emotions. I'm just tired of all the negativity. I wish I could just surround myself with people who are encouraging and that would listen and give me advice and not make every situation about themselves. *sigh* In the end it is up to me to change what situations I let get the best of me. I too need to be more understanding of that person's current state and be a little bit more sensitive. But honestly in the beginning I was, but now its just so hard for me because my feelings and what I'm stressed out about is being brushed under the rug like its no big deal, because its not as major of an issue as what they are going through. Anyways, now that I got that rant out of the way, I can move on and make today a better day. Sometimes it just helps to write all this out. It stays bottled up in my mind and I constantly think of it, so to have it typed up somewhere helps me move on from this. 

     Today is my Rest day. I chose the week that mother nature decides to visit to work out, which is never fun. With the cramps and everything else that comes with it, it makes it that much harder to workout. Yesterday I was supposed to do BBG 1.0 Pretraining Wednesday- Arms and Abs, but I decided that I would do cardio instead.  I ended up walking on the treadmill at 3.5 mph for 35 minutes, which is a great accomplishment for me. I told my husband that morning that I wasn't going to workout and I kept making up all these excuses in my head why I shouldn't. But as it got closer and closer to my daughters nap time, I knew that if I didn't workout then, I wouldn't be working out at all that day. So, I pushed myself through all those excuses and I did cardio.  I kept repeating in my head the reasons why I needed to do this and I kept picturing myself in all those wonderful outfits that I could finally wear when I will be fit and happy, and it really motivated me to push through. 

    One thing that I need to work on is to not be so judgmental when I'm looking at myself in the mirror. Those words that keep coming in my head every time I look in the mirror I know will go away, one day. But as of right now they're always telling me that I'm not good enough to be in the best shape that I can be. They always tell me that I'm not making any progress and that I should just quit. Those are voices that have been in my head (not to sound creepy or anything) since I was in high school. In the end I need to know that this is a journey, I cannot reach my goal in only 3 days and I need to be less harsh on myself! Every day I am one step closer to reaching my goal. Whatever I decide to do in fitness that day and I actually make the time to do it, makes me that much closer to being healthier. 

    These first few weeks are going to be the hardest, but I'm ready to challenge them and I'm ready to get past them. One day, I will look in that mirror and be proud of my body and my accomplishments because only I know how hard I've worked to achieve it. 

Thanks for reading, have a blessed day/night.

-Laura